To be normal in Australia you must never appear to be worried about anything. Happy-go-lucky and carefree, Aussies pride themselves on being able to remain optimistic even during the greatest adversity.
It may be ok to worry in Greece, Italy or Iraq. Nobody argues the state of pessimism which presides over certain lands.
But in the young and vital nation of Australia, it is your DUTY to be nonchalant and carefree at all times. Everyone must deny any concern or emotional involvement, no matter what happens.
I.e., âItâs got nothing to do with meâ (K: How often do we hear this one!â
âI canât be botheredâ
âThings always sort themselves outâ (K: Famous last words!)
This attitude is to be carried into all kinds of life.
This chapter also suggests that too much initiative in this country is really âun Australianâ. Iâm not sure how widespread this still is.
Being cheery and worry free is one thing, of course. Accusing others of worrying is another. Be careful never to say âYou look worried, mateâ or âStop worrying.â To an Aussie. Thatâs how arguments start.
âFrankly, I wouldnât worry.â
âWhoâs worried?â
âSome people worry a lotâ
âNot me, I never worry.â
âI definitely donât.â
âWell I donât eitherâ
âWhy should I worry?â
âThereâs nothing to worry about.â
As maybe you can see, saying âyou look worriedâ to an Australian can almost be making an attack on them (from their point of view, as they could think youâve accused them of failing the Oz joviality test or not being able to cope, or need Psychiatric help or something).
If somebody should tell YOU that you look worried, it is vital to demonstrate right away that youâre not at all.
1. Scowl as if they had said your breath smells.
2. Talk about all the other people you know who have REAL worries - find as many as you can to dob in (tell on).
3. Sink low in your seat as if youâre about to go to sleep, to show how relaxed you are.
Always keep projecting the worry free image. Act as if concern is the furthest thought from your mind. In fact, the worse things are, the more light hearted you ought to appear. (Only after itâs all over can you admit you were worried at the time, and only to certain trusted people usually).
Remember, the only worrying you should do in Australia is never to appear worried.
(But there are a few exceptions: you can worry about trivial things but not the bigger picture, and itâs ok to worry about numbers: âDid I drink 4 or 5 beers at lunch time?â
âWill I bet on the 6th horse in the 4th race at Moonee Valley?â
âI wonder which of the 6 plugs is misfiringâ?
And there you go...
Chapter 5: Grimacing for beginners:
This chapter seems to say that you can absorb local customs all you want, imitate slang or whatever, but you will never be considered ânormalâ here until you LOOK right, until you look at ease in the natural environment of Oz.
The book suggests that what makes Australians LOOK right, is the faces they pull.
Watching some of them on tv, I guess this is quite true.
The Aussie grimace is said to be the top one you should know. Then, followed by scowls, mouth contortions and grins that you learn to use on their appropriate occasions.
One type is: âUh-uhâ
The most popular way to really start pulling faces is when somebody becomes suddenly passionate about a certain subject. This usually happens in a group situation.
The book says that in Israel or Greece, itâs ok to be impassioned, and you can set the scene for an interesting discussion this way, but in Australia, if you see this starting to happen, you and your aussie friends must start to look at one another nervously, while frowning heavily, to indicate a speaker who is âout of controlâ.
If this doesnât work, parts of the party are to break off into little groups so as to exclude the speaker, who then finds himself talking to...just himself.
(I donât know if this still happens, but certain types of Aussies can tend to be wary of impassioned speakers...the 'don't get involved' motto).
To add: It's fairly easy to get an Aussie guy to tell you what he THINKS, but try getting one of them to tell you how he 'feels' about things, anything, and it can be a difficult, if not impossible task, no matter if it's an intelligent or semi-intelligent or 'ocker' slang speaking beer drinking Aussie - in this I have found most of them are all the same, and it's really a huge difference between them and European men, who I have found will talk to others about how they feel about things, when they hardly even know the people they're talking to!
Fortunately in society, the Australian women ARE allowed to express how they feel about things (the Australian male just may not listen!)
This could probably be a chapter all on its own...comparing the seemingly easy emotion I've observed in European acquaintances and friends such as French, swiss and Italian guys in particular, to the very common 'non emotional' aspect of many Australian males.
It's not that Australian guys don't have feelings: they do, but they're not going to tell you, and it's not expressed much in society.
Maybe after so long they even forget how to do it (je crois).
As for negative emotions, like sadness, grief and loss, that's an even bigger story, because in Australia, it seems that only a small percentage of the male population will ever express these, even in modern times.
Part of it is that these feelings have been learned to be hidden far away, and the other is that they feel they could be ridiculed or thought 'sissy' or weak. Therefore, it's important to keep up a macho facade of some kind or another.
Par exemple, if an Australian guy watching English soccer sees any member of the losing team shed a tear or two, or worse, cry properly, contempt and amusement seem to be very quick in coming.
If you ever see a 'real' Aussie man cry, then it's pretty sure you know it's almost the end of the world, and the biggest crisis ever possible has happened. Then it's scary, and nobody knows what to do.
Those are my theories anyway, and I've been working on them a very long time....Understanding Australians is no easy thing (my NZ mother says she has been trying for 30 years and she hasn't succeeded yet)....so, readers, don't worry if a lot of this stuff doesn't make sense...un jour ca arrivera, peut etre!
Kate